Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Rebuilding Your Life After Betrayal: Slow and Steady

"Good things happen slowly," is a line I read recently in a wonderful book. "And bad things happen fast."
The author, Abigail Thomas, writes about dealing with her husband's brain injury from being hit by a car.
And though we betrayed wives may lack the physical scars of a car crash, few among us would argue that betrayal feels exactly like being hit by a car. Again. And again. And again.
Yet her words resonate. Bad things do seem to happen fast. Years of what seems like a solid marriage can suddenly unravel like an cartoon sweater. A life that seemed trustworthy suddenly feels like it's built on sand. In a blink, what was...no longer is.
But the first part of Thomas' sentence is also true. Good things do happen slowly, which can sometimes feel frustrating...but can also indicate that they're based on careful thought and intention, rather than fate or circumstance. And what we build on thought and intention remains ours, even after it's gone.
Like trust. And love.
A wise soul once wrote that with waiting comes wisdom, healing comes with time. And anything good we've ever had is ours to keep forever.

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